I had intended to write more about being in the Sweatlodge...the experience of fire and water. However, New England had a powerful winter storm just days before Samhain that affected Western Mass with broken and downed trees that led to a long power outage.   So here is my thoughts on the experience of fire and water from a different perspective.

Snow. Early snow; heavy,  thick and wet flakes burying us under a dense blanket.  Unprepared and too heavy to bare, the trees laid down one by one.  Those not flexible enough to bend under the burden, snapped.   There is a purpose to the timing and the cycle of the seasons.  Trees know this.  Autumn is the time of returning, going inward.  Trees feel this as they pull their sap back from their foliage and send it down to the Mother, deep into the ground to be stored in their roots and harden in preparation for winter's icy hold on the land.  But the Earth is shifting.  The climate is changing.  The patterns are disrupted and it is visible when a full force snowstorm arrives when the leaves are just embarking on their vibrant change and most are still green.   The trees were not ready for what came on October 29 and neither were most of the humans.

During that night, Winter met Autumn  in a collision of intense beauty and destruction.  In turn, this left most of us without electricity for many days, even weeks, and some of us stranded by blocked roads.   In many ways I was blessed to be "well prepared" to live without electricity for an extended period of time since I frequently travel to festivals and on rock climbing trips where I live without it for extended periods of time.  This has led to me acquiring plenty of camping gear that comes in handy during a power outage such as a portable solar cell to charge batteries.  I am also fortunate to live in a house supplied with a gas stove, gas hot water heater and a pellet stove.

If you have experienced a deep snow, then you know how enveloping it is.  There is a fierceness and a deep magick.  As the trees surrendered to the force of the storm,  so the the lights went out across the land.   Standing in my yard I could hear the soft music of snow falling accented by the loud cracking of trees.   Underneath that chorus, was the silence of a town unplugged from the grid.  Together, the song of the experience filled my senses.

The following morning I awoke to a world dazzling with sunlight and snow crystals.   The power was still out but that was no surprise and I sensed it would not be coming on soon.  The destruction in my neighborhood alone told me so.   What followed was almost 5 days living off the grid unexpectedly.  Life settled into a rhythm and I read a lot.  I felt blessed in that I still had running water and hot water too.  I had friends melting snow in buckets for water and some that could not leave their neighborhood. 

The flow of life went on whether or not us humans had our comfortable access to electricity.  I became acutely aware of ancestral generations living in the past.   Life for them did not have the immediacy of turning a switch for light, for heat, for water or for entertainment.   Their days were filled with working to meet their needs...food, water, heat, shelter.    Water had to be pumped from a well or fetched from a stream.   Food had to be planned for much farther in advance (all those Harvest celebrations we honor today; our ancestors celebrated because the hard work of harvesting and preparing for winter was done).  Heat involved chopping wood or gathering it.   And when the sun went down, they gathered together around the dinner table or the fire.  They talked and shared stories or music.  They read, knitted, sewed or fixed fishing nets or other tools they would need the next day.  It struck me as I watched many people struggle with "what to do" when completely unplugged, how deeply in tune our ancestors must have been to their own creativity.   Can't turn a switch to experience music?   They made their own.   Can't play a video game?  They created games such as chess or cards.    Can't jump on facebook to connect to community?  They had gatherings,  socials and went "visiting".     This is not to say that I don't enjoy my facebook time, the power of the internet or the ease of modern conveniences.   However, we might be losing more than we realize in our dependency on the modern grid.

I found it ironic the coinciding of Samhain, All Saint's Day and All Soul's Day with the darkness that suddenly laid across the land.   Those three holidays all mark remembrance of our Ancestors or Honored Dead in some way.  Somehow, it seemed fitting to do without or to do with less during the passage of those key days in the Turning of the Wheel.  It helped me to appreciate  the world my ancestors lived in just a little bit better and how that affected the expression of their lives.  It also gave me a glimpse into the potential future for us all if solutions for our energy consumption and climate changes are not really addressed.

I also became acutely aware of how quickly I synchronized myself to the turning of a smaller wheel, the cycle of the sun in the course of a day in order to make the best use of the light.   But the hidden magick I did not expect was how deeply wonderful the silence and darkness at night were.   I live in an older neighborhood where the houses are close together.  I did not realize just how noisy life with electricity is.  I reveled in the opportunity to see stars in my own yard that normally are buried in light pollution and the silence was delicious.

The intensity of the storm has passed.  The power is back on.  The roads are lined with the debris from the trees.   I have had my share of sorrow looking at the damage to the trees, but I remind myself change is a constant on Earth that  must happen in order for growth to come in.  The changes brought by the storm have created new openings to see the sky.

There is a building of energy  coming to a Lodge.  The fibers of the web have been pulled and spun by Spider, drawing close those that are meant to sit together in sacred smoke, in sacred heat, in sacred space.  You can feel the vibrations of this as the people gather around the ceremonial fire that heats the stones that will share their teachings.  
The lodge keeper knelt to fill the pipe and offered up the first pinch of tobacco in silent prayer and the hush that swept offer us was so still it froze time.  Then I knew  we all had step into liminal space.
Crawling into the Lodge, the woven branches curving over my head, the warm fabrics of blankets cocooning out the night air, and the profound darkness swallowing my sight and holding me in womb like stillness, I felt ancient memories stirring.
Silently, each person pressed their forehead to the dirt at the threshold before crawling sunwise into the mother womb of the Lodge.  

As many of you who know me are aware, I am very much a soul in motion.  Even my pursuits during my "time off" involve movement...hiking, dancing and rock climbing.  My vacations involve traveling to festivals, backpacking or more climbing.  For me, motion has always been a source of meditation.  The longer the hike or the more intense the dance form, the deeper the trance.  My time outside, on the land is where I commune with Spirit and where I receive much of my creative or spiritual information.

This summer, I experienced an "unexpected" spinal injury that came straight out of the blue (Spirit Sent) and there was no misinterpreting the message...I literally was brought to a complete and utter stop.   While I do understand my role in manifestation, both conscious and unconscious, and I was very much aware that I needed to slow down prior to this ( I had actually taken a couple of restful vacations and was actively pursuing a lighter work load), there are times when we are not meant to be in control of a situation from a "ego" based place.  It was clear from the onset, this was one of those Spirit Directed experiences and my role was not to know ahead of time or to change or "force" the process. 

I feel that an important part of the lesson at hand was not knowing the game plan ahead of time.
I most definitely would have taken different action and events would have unfolded differently. 
I believe, both personally and as a professional reader, that there is aspects of the journey that are accessible to us from Divine Source, The Universe and our Spirit Guides.  This insight allows us to reflect on our the higher spiritual lesson unfolding and our role of conscious, co-creative action. 
But, I also believe there are situations when the Veil will not be fully parted.  There is a purpose to this. 
There are times when experiencing life with the deeper spiritual lesson partially veiled facilitates unique learning and soul growth this actually in our Soul's Destiny.  We are not always meant to avert challenges coming our way...while unpleasant, these bumps in the road develop parts of our soul. 
We can still tune in, listen and co-create our way through veiled challenges.  There is a different pace and level of trust (faith) that engages to move forward with no itinerary, no road map while maintaining a co-creative approach.  It is its own set of crossroads.  I have found that breathing in grace and measuring action or in-action against the vision of healing has been tremendously helpful.
My body is setting the pace in a different tempo these days and that has allowed me to focus inward in a deep way.

Personally, it has been my experience that cleansing and clearing for ourselves and our intimate spaces (our home, our office, our mode of transportation, etc) should take place regularly, daily if you can set the time aside, and if not daily, then weekly.  

We all have a source of creativity living within us that we can learn to tap into and communicate with.  As children, connection to this source is usually wide open until it is impinged or shut down by outside forces.  Those outside forces can be simple and unexpected, yet powerful due to our developing little spirit selves so new to being in physical form on the planet.  All sorts of people will come into our lives with their "messages" that may impact us.  It is up to us, to use our own internal voice and intuition to measure if this information rings true with our Soul's Purpose.  Too often, we can be led off our path by listening to outside influences.  Regardless of when these various messages came into our lives, we can revisit them and release them, reprogramming the place they held with new material in alignment with our highest soul vibrational essence. 

I recall one of my first days in Kindergarten.  The teacher gave us a box of brand new crayons.  These crayons were unlike the ones I had at home which were the big multi-pack that featured smaller crayons. This box at "school" had way less color choices but were big, fat delicious crayons.  We were also given a picture to color and I loved coloring.  I got down to work and colored big and bold, bearing down on my crayons til the points wore down in a way I could not do with smaller crayons.  I delighted in the process and was totally caught up in the moment.  When the time was up and we were asked to share, the girl sitting next to me showed my a faintly colored picture, barely shaded in.  Then she showed me her barely used crayons.  In a sweet, but judgmental voice she said, "oh look your crayons are ruined by the way you colored your picture and mine are still like brand new".  Then she compared her crayons to mine. In that moment, I went from viewing my bright and bold, alive picture with joy to wondering if I had done something "wrong".  Privately, I thought her picture looked dim and barely colored, incomplete, but still I felt my first experience of external pressure to conform. Internally, I struggled with myself over which was more important: a bright picture I enjoyed creating or perfect crayons practically untouched by use to show off.  Luckily for me when I relayed this story with dismay to my mother, she had come from a line of practicing artists (my grandfather was a woodworker and my great grandfather a trained fine arts painter) so she quickly pointed out how beautiful my picture was because of how I choose to color it in.  I still had an internal struggle to work through over the use of my crayons but my mother had given me some ammunition to question the "information" delivered by some little girl with a different agenda on expression.

If we can remember to take in outside information delivered to us from the perspective of being grateful for the feedback, but also take the time to process it through our self alignment filter of the Soul, we can work through the material with more of an open mind.  It is important to be open to hearing constructive criticism and it is important to sift the wheat from the chaff. 
Ah, but how do we do that?  By taking time to develop the authentic voice of the our Soul. And yes, this is a practice.  In every moment we have to choose how to exercise our own power.  By developing an understanding of our Soul's language, how it speaks to us, we take steps towards increasing our spiritual well being.  By seeking to understand the roles of others in our lives, both for better and for worse, we gain valuable insight to our Soul's divine mission.  By expanding in this way, we can source our creative flow more readily. 

Perhaps my story from kindergarten can be viewed as a moment when I was "shut down" to my own creative expression by a misguided statement.  But perhaps, it can viewed as a moment where I was offered the chance to stand in my truth over how I decided to express myself.  The struggle in itself is a gift if I learn what it offered.

As I continue to ponder the Soul to Ancestor connection, I will do my best to capture in words the concepts I am experiencing in my own life.
I think the key energy is to review our family heritage, our ancestral line, through the eyes of the soul, our own soul.  By viewing through the eye of the soul, I am referring to a "global goggles" or "spirit goggles" if you will. The immediate family we know can have muddy connections for our human selves since humans are so less than perfect.  By taking a big step back from the intimate picture of your current life incarnation's experiences with family which involves all levels of lessons (call it family karma perhaps) and remember, not just your lessons, but the interweaving of many other folks lessons....you are seeking a greater picture, an ancestral story, ancestral patterns.
Was there a common thread in all the women in your heritage; perhaps of strength or creativity?  How about the men?  Maybe endurance and resourcefulness.  Maybe there is a Storyteller or Keeper of the Family Wisdom that passes knowledge to the next generation. We can work to harvest the treasure of greater strengths of our ancestral line if we can learn to see past the immediate flaws of certain individuals.  This is not to excuse bad behavior or wrongful actions, but that is a different aspect of healing work. 
My own mother is a Keeper of Family Wisdom and she has handed this role on to me, whether I wanted it or not.  She is of Irish decent and mind you, she did not ask my permission...she has just spent a lifetime passing on to me key information that is the treasure of my family's stories.  She has said she believes that as her only daughter she feels it is my inherited role.  And from her I have learned of some very cool traditions that I have not read of in any book. 

I have also learned that many "rules" that she ran our home with are classic Irish/Celtic Clan "rules" tied closely to hospitality and family honor.  Sometimes these rules frustrated me as a child but in hind sight, I deeply value the character qualities that ended up being steeped into my being.  I remember now growing up in the 70's the excitement of birthday parties. At all my friends parties, the birthday girl or boy was served their piece of cake first.  To my childish and selfish horror, at my own birthday party, I was served last.  When I would whine to my mother, she was completely horrified at the idea that the hostess would take a serving first and it being my party, I was the hostess.  In this argument, my mother won.  She would often say, that her home would not be known for poor hospitality.  The Celtic traditions of hospitality were very strict in ancient times and the seeds of this have carried forward to modern times in my family. 

Traditions can be powerful connections to our ancestors.  When we look upon aspects of our families we can find those connections. some more obvious than others. 

I have been catching up on a lot of reading I have wanted to do for quite some time.  One of the books I am working through is called Sacred Contacts by Carolyn Myss. If you are not familiar with her work, I highly recommend you check out her books.
At one point she suggests recalling what the adults around you consistently commented on what you would one day "become" when you were very small.  Her concept is that the adults close to us when we are children pick up on important soul "purpose" vibrations even if they might get a bit mis-translated through their human filter.  You could also think back on what you always were drawn to say you would be when you "grew up".  Remember that this too could be slightly off due to our own human filter but offers valuable insight, a key if you would, into the vibration of your soul.
As I have been re-reading Sacred Contracts, I have been revisiting what the adults in my world "saw" in me.  What did I see in myself?  What was my original Voice saying?
As I have sought to honor those original contracts and to understand how best to support my soul's purpose, I have seen that it is the Ancestors speaking to me that have guided me when I have lost my direction and when I reach out.  We are supported on our journey by our ancestral lineage.  Their blood runs in our blood and speaks to us in the language of spirit.

I have always had a deep connection to Autumn...the changes in the land, the quickening in the air as the first cool mornings and nights arrive...all the traditions that surround this time of year from pumpkins, to harvest festivals, to putting a garden to bed for the coming Winter...and of course Samhain (Halloween).
With the passing of the years, as I have had the opportunities to expand my magickal studies and encounter some other traditions...Southern Conjure, VooDoo, and Mediumship. These other traditions (and Pagan/Heathen Traditions) all have a focus on Ancestor Work.  I am finding that it has been always the Ancestor Work that has first opened any new Door, revealed a new direction for me.
Of course, when one is on a journey, one sees what is right there or just in front of them..   It is with the collection of time and experiences that one can look further and further back and see the Thread of  certain Traditions that hold the strongest and have signaled the Waypoints on the road.
Having gathered more time on this journey, I realized when reflecting on my Soul's Path, that it has always been my Ancestral Spirits, the Voice of My Ancestors, speaking to me that have guided me. 

Honoring Ancestral Blood:
When I was a young girl, I had the good fortune to get to know 2 very cool Aunts, one from each side of my family.  My Great Aunt Gladys was from my mother's side and of Irish decent  and Great Aunt Anna was from my father's side and of Italian decent.  Both these ladies were quite forward thinking and "unusual" which I think is why they took a special liking to me and I to them.  I would spend hours listening to them on various family visits and loved my time with them.  It was only when I became an adult, that I came to understand how "different" they were.  They were bold woman that had not followed a ordinary path and in the times that they lived in women typically had way less choices, I came to admire their courage, intelligence and resourcefulness.  Both of these aunts were master seamstresses and help support their families with their craft.  One made dolls and the other worked as a seamstress. They both spent hours encouraging my creativity.  They were the first folks to see and recognize something in my spirit when I was just a little girl. 
One Aunt had a baby out of wedlock in the early 1900's and kept the child.  She learned to be a seamstress to support herself.  She eventually married and had a very happy life with her husband.  But I think back to her courage to keep her child in a time period when she was sent away while pregnant so no one that knew her family would see her.
The other Aunt had childhood diabetes and eventually became "legally blind" but remained independent.  She lived well into her 80's and was always full of laughter and stories, never once did she complain about her health challenges.

I believe in the power of heritage, that is is passed down to us in our DNA and in our blood. 
It whispers to us, gently calling out to our Soul.  If we learn to listen to the Voice of our Ancestors that speak in the language of our blood, they also reveal keys to the answers we are seeking and provide clues to where the Path lies.

 

As some of you might know, I had to return to full time work in addition to running AwenTree when the economy went sour. 
Recently there have been some directional changes in my Path and I have more time on my hands again that allow me to focus on writing. 
So,  I am back blogging my Musings From the Hedge!
I hope to expand on what I started writing about here and I hope folks will enjoy my musings and share them with their world if they feel inclined.

Many Blessings!
Winifred

I was asked to join Cassie Olewinski on the December 23, 2008, Enviro Show to talk about the history and traditions of Winter Solstice and Yule. 
Our hosts, Glen and Jean, gave us a warm welcome and had some great questions for us. 
We had a whole lot of fun discussing an overview of historical traditions that many ancient cultures practiced to celebrate the return of the light at this time of year in the northern hemisphere.  We also touched upon current local traditions happening in the Valley.
Check out the podcast.....Cassie and I are on about 20 minutes into the show.

Bright Blessings!